Memoirs of a Redhead

Isn't it Ironic, Don'tcha Think?

It's like rain on your wedding day

It's a free ride, when you've already paid

It's the good advice that you just didn't take

Who would've thought...it figures.

Alanis Morisette so had it right, which is why whenever this song is played I crank it up and belt it out!

I tend to find many things in life to be ironic, so this season is nothing new in that sense.  But there seem to be so many things for me to chuckle @ and say, "It's just so ironic that..."  Not everything will be shared, but here are a few things.

Ever since I first became a fan of Mark Batterson's podcasts, I said that if I ever moved to D.C. I would go to his church.  But for some reason when I actually decided to move here I knew that I would still be wise to see what was out here for me to be a part of.  I stumbled across DC Metro Church by Googling "DC metro, church"...thinking that I wanted to find a church in the DC Metro areas, right?  Well, if you do that, the first site listed is www.dcmetrochurch.org (who knew?).  So I checked out the site, listened to a couple of podcasts, and fell in love with the church!  But then I mapped it out and realized it was in Alexandria. Immediately I pulled it out of my options because the schools I had been interviewing at were in the northern part of DC and I was looking into living in lower Maryland, near there.  Then through a course of events I ended up getting a job in SE DC, and I went back to a roommate-finding website to find a place to live.  Ironically, there was only 1 option for the area that I wanted to live in, and it was #2 on the list at that time...they had just posted their ad.  The area was Alexandria, which I knew to be nice.  I'd forgotten all about DC Metro Church, until after I'd moved in and saw the infamous sides stuck in the ground all over our area, telling about the service times.  Long story (kinda) short...I remembered how much I'd love my experience on the site and decided to give it a shot.  I went.  Loved it.  Then...

...3 days later I ended up with a really hurt back and couldn't do hardly anything, including live life. lol  I'd been so excited to start getting plugged in, but it just wasn't going to happen with my back in its condition.  To top it off I ended up having to be out of work for 2 1/2 months!  Great.  I move somewhere where I don't really know people (except 2 old friends from college who both lived a distance away, and my new roommates who barely knew me)...and this would be another irony.  Life would've been a lot easier if I would've been hurt in the place where I already had a ton of friends, right?  But, yeah, no...it didn't happen that way.

I finally got to a place where I could do some things, but not enough to go back to work, right at the very end of September.  Plus, I really needed to get out of the house and make a friend or two;).  One Sunday I hobbled myself into the Potomac Yard Regal Cinema, where DC Metro Church currently meets, and had an interesting experience in my own self.  You can read about that here.  That week I joined a small group, and I emailed the church administrator to see if I could go into the church office to help out for a little bit while I worked at getting better enough to return to work.

The first couple of weeks I went into the office to work for a few hours at a time.  Then it turned into full days, more days a week.  The next thing I knew, I was a full-time volunteer...and building relationships with some INCREDIBLE new friends.  These people have been some of my closest friends here, and I wouldn't have had that opportunity to spend time with them had I not been hurt, out of work, and volunteering.  So I do find it ironic that my being hurt, and fairly alone, the first month and a half of living in a new city (that happens to be a pretty lonely city to live in, period) actually lead to some pretty great, and potentially life-long friendships rather quickly.  Yes, ironic.  

It gets better.  

In some of those first conversations with ministry directors at the church I was very adament about certain things.  I wanted to be apart of what was going on there, but wanted to be confident that I was in the area God thought best for me.  Being a teacher, I've always had the policy that I would never work in the kids' ministry because I'm with kids all week long...love them like crazy, but wanted to be apart of something else @ church.  This is where it gets really ironic to me...

To make a really long story, only kind of long ;), I felt compelled to volunteer for a couple of little things for the MetroKids ministry...which, over the course of a few weeks lead me to being the Coordinator for the ministry.  The role itself is still being defined, but the key point here is that I am now playing a role in leading a kids' ministry @ church...this is very ironic.  I am loving it though, and am so excited about the dreams I have for the kids in this area.  My heart is so big for kids and for discipleship-the two go well together.  

Now, there's a whole other part where my work comes in right now.  Typically, as an urban classroom teacher, my life is too crazy and hectic to do anything like this.  The stress would be too much.  But because I got hurt, someone else had to take over my 4th grade classroom (and she's doing such an AMAZING job...so proud of her!).  And going back to August, my principal was randomly able to hire an "extra" teacher to be on staff.  So because we had an extra person, someone was able to take over my classroom, and they were still able to keep me on as a teacher upon my return...but now I'm the extra teacher!  It's great!  I get to work with the 4th grade literacy teachers and students (who are all such a blessing to my life) and a couple groups in 2nd grade too.  It's been a great opportunity to implement some things I've learned these past few years, and to lessen the stress of classroom teaching!  So that frees me up, somewhat, to be able to work with MetroKids in the way that I need to!  

And all of this because...I got hurt.  

See, have to share this part too.  A year ago I was having a really difficult time with life.  To simplify it, I was very much depressed.  God has done so much in my heart and in my life that I have been able to walk through this life transition, and the situations surrounding it, with such deep joy.  Do you realize how exciting that's been?  Honestly, my back still hurts.  And at times, it really hurts a lot.  I come home from work most days and chill on an ice pack because I just can't take much more movement.  But I am so grateful for what God has been doing in my life, even though I've been going through this time.  Being hurt sucks.  I'm not gonna lie.  I do get discouraged and frustrated at times.  But God always has a redemptive factor in everything I go through.  It's because of this truth.  He is never surprised by my situation, so even things that seem ironic to me are just right to him. :)

There are definitely a few more ironic aspects to my life in transition, but this is what I will share for now.  Be blessed!

The Many Ironies of My Life

I'm not ready to publish this post yet, but it is to come soon.  Ever since I moved to the DC area, I have walked through irony, after irony, after irony...I laughed about it for a long time with a friend last night.  

Stay tuned.

Prelude to the Book Talk by Don Miller

This afternoon I beat the traffic and headed up to Baltimore to hear one of my all-time favorite authors speak about his new book and some other great things to be apart of, like The Mentoring Project.  It was well worth the $7 round-trip (says my GPS) to get there:)  I enjoy reading and devouring Don Miller's work, so excited doesn't truly describe how I felt earlier today.

He writes well and I was confident he would also speak well, so I arrived with my journal...and here's my prelude...

I'm sitting in a Presbyterian church.  It's pretty and uncomfortable.  My back's been aching too much today...after 8 days of being pain-free.  I thought this was gone, but I guess not completely.  Anyway, the pews in this church are hard.  Sure, there's pew-length-long foam cushions, but they don't offer much-plus they move.  I'm not complaining.  I'm just saying.  Leave me here long enough and I will surely find 300 things to critique...which is why I'll just amuse myself with my own writing instead...and I'll start reading Don's book for the 2nd time this month.  It's worth reading once a month, but twice during the first one for sure.

...This older gentleman in a suit keeps walking people down the aisle to one of the doors to the side of the stage.  I think he's taking them to the bathroom, since it's obviously the way to the rest of the building (the entrance was just the entrance).  I'm not feeling super well and want to know where the bathroom is, but I'm afraid that I already know.  So, what if I have to go while Don is speaking?

*I just realized that Colbie Callait is playing in the speakers.  I love that.  Do I need to explain why?  I mean, they could be playing Rebecca St. James, which would be fine, but expected.  I didn't expect Colbie. :)

Yea, so I'm nervous that I'll have to go while my favorite hero author guy is speaking.  Could I let him know ahead of time-or slip him a note as I walk past him to exit to the john?

Sorry, Don.  I really want to hear the whole thing, but the greasy pizza from Mamma Cucina's is not completely agreeing with my insides right now.  Believe me, it would be a ton worse if I didn't go right now.  You might just want to trust me on this one.

        Your Biggest Fan,

        The Cute Redhead in the 5th Row

One of the things that makes this church a little uncomfortable for me is that there's only one entrance/exit to each pew.  I can see that they were trying to conserve aisle space, but it's just so awkward.  I'm sitting on the end (due to said problem earlier), in the 5th row, and I know that people would love to take up more of this pew, but they feel weird asking if they can hop over me to sit on the other side of me.  I certainly cannot offer to move in through, not now.  

...And now my biggest fear is confirmed..."Sir, excuse me.  Can you point me in the direction of the restrooms?"  "Do you wanna go now?"  "No."  "Okay, you go through those doors, to the left, down the stairs.  Go down the right hallway, take the next left, do 16 jumping jacks and 40 pushups, and it'll be on the right."...or was that "up the stairs?"  Great, so not only will I have to disrupt my favorite author, just to go potty, but I'll also miss half the talk because I won't be able to find the bathroom!  Maybe I should ask for a map.  Or perhaps I should update my FB status right now to ask all of my Christian friends to pray that I don't have to go to the bathroom for the next 3 1/2 hours.

Finally-2 cool people just sat next to me.  The guy made a joke about the doors on the pews.  Did I mention that?  The pews have doors on them.  Do they not want people to leave?  Do you have to hand in your tithe before they'll let you out?  "No, ma'am.  I'm sorry...that was only 9%.  The pew door is staying closed until you cough up the rest."  Why do I feel like trying to be a comedian tonight?  And why do I sound so cynical?  I'm not really, I'm just super intrigued by this church...But I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that Donald Miller inspires me to write-good, bad, ugly-the guy inspires me to be real with my thoughts-even the ones that don't have a chance of coming through as super-holy.  Hmm.

Ah, we're so close to starting...

So there you have it.  My prelude.  These were my thoughts as I sat in the very pretty church, waiting for the man-writer of my dreams Donald Miller, to come out!

I have to do a plug for Susan Isaacs, too, though.  She had about 15 minutes on stage before Don came out, and she's just as gut-wrenchingly raw and honest as he is.  She's the female version of him.  I absolutely loved listening to her and truly look forward to buying her book, Angry Conversations with God, as well.  I am working on my honesty too-beyond, "Yes, I really do like your hair.  It looks great.":)  Susan will challenge me with this.  I encourage you to check out both of the books I've mentioned...and then read them twice.

How could I almost forget to mention this?  So I'm totally starstruck by this guy, for dumb reasons because I know he's just normal...but the whole time he's talking I'm all excited about the thought of getting my book signed by him, and I'm trying to come up with the best thing to say when I go up and meet him.  So what did I say?  I get to the table, 4 things in my head to choose from and..."Thanks!"  That was it.  My big moment to say whatever I wanted and I said, "Thanks!"  And I didn't even break out my camera.  :(

Seasonal, yet tasty.

I woke up this morning on a mission...to make the pumpkin chocolate chip cookies that I'd found a recipe for last week.  Last year I made a batch from a different recipe, and they were okay, but too heavy.  This recipe, though...they hit the spot so well!  I had to share a link to the recipe:)  And the only thing I added to it was some nutmeg and allspice, but there were over 400 reviews on the site, so they have other suggestions too.  

The reactions I got from those I shared them with went something like:

"Oooo, it's like little pieces of pumpkin bread with chocolate chips."

"Like little cakes!"

And my favorite-"Seasonal, yet tasty."

Go here and make these delicious treats:)

Shorelines

If you live anywhere near Philly, you go "down the shore" at least once every summer.  You might rent a  house for a week and go with your family.  But it's close enough to head down for a weekend, or even just for a day!  Going "down the shore" is what we refer to when we talk about venturing down to a Jersey shore-Ocean City, Wildwood, etc.  

Growing up I loathed going down the shore.  It was not a pleasurable thing for me:  the sand, the waves, the sunburn.

First of all, the sand.  After spending a day at the beach I would find sand in very uncomfortable places, and it never seemed to go away-especially on those "day trips".  I probably still have sand in my life from that one time in 1985, but I'll never know for sure.  

Secondly, I never really learned how to swim, so the waves absolutely sucked...literally.  They sucked me under their toes ;) and every time I was pretty sure that I was going to die, and that no one would ever know what happened to me.  It's not my parents' fault for the whole swimming thing.  They paid for me to get swimming lessons at the Y, but the blood-curdling screams that would be evicted from my mouth were no match for the instructor that was holding me, trying to get me used to putting my face under the water....I would get away from her, climb the ladder, and run to my parents.  I don't think they ever took me back.  So you can imagine my horror when taken out into the ocean with waves crashing around me.  I hated it.  I hated the experience and I hated the adults that put me through it.  To my future children...I will probably do the same to you, not because I hate you, but because I really want you to get over the fear of water earlier than me:).

Finally, the sun and redheads never truly become friends.  Redheads burn...easily and A LOT!  I recently discovered spf 50 sunblock, and I went through 4 bottles of it this past summer.  When redheads go to the beach with anything less than spf 30 or 50, well, they're just asking the sun to give them the hot new lobster look.  I always got super burned when I went to the beach growing up, and even when I did have the right sunblock around, I never used it properly.  Then I would lay on my stomach, which makes your bathing suit shift a little, and the next thing you know you can't walk straight or sit painfree for a few days.  Welcome to my world.

Why share about sand and the sun's effects in uncomfortable places?  And about the water that I was sure would become my fatality in life?  I think that it's all related to something that God is trying to teach me right now, and I'm hoping that writing about it will assist me in processing it all.

The irony is that now I love the shore!  I love to sit on the sand, and squish it between my toes.  I love the water, and the sound of the waves crashing.  And now that I've become friends with the Coppertone, spf 50 spray...the sun and I have actually become friends!  When I was still in Michigan I wrote my friend-for-many-years, Suzanne, to ask her to take me down the shore for a day this summer when I was in Philly.  So we went and I was exhilarated as we drove into Ocean City and rolled down the windows to the familiar scent of the salty ocean, and the sounds of seagulls flying around.  I got so giddy and excited because I hadn't been down there in 5 years!  It was so great to spend the day there.  It's not the nicest beach in the world, but I was at the ocean once again...and I had longed for it!

One connection that I have right now is that one of my great, great friends, Hannah just took an incredible leap of faith and moved to work at a place called Harvey Cedars, along the Jersey shoreline.  I stole some of these pictures from her Facebook account...because I am so jealous of her view;)

And here's another shot that I love...and it actually looks a little like what I get to see of the Potomac River, down the street from me, with the rocks and all (sans the lady and the pelican;).

 

But here's where I'm going on the topic for now...this is where I need to process a little.  Join me in my ramblings for a moment.  (or not...now would be a good time to click on another blog or websearch, or go watch your favorite episode of The Office, if you'd like)

Here's a peek @ my journal this evening, as I sipped my zebra mocha at Buzz.  

...go deeper.  Be deeper.  Love more deeply.  Be lavished on Him.  Step onto the shoreline-the line where the land meets water.  Where waves crash.   Where land can disappear for while, to be seem again when the water decides to concede its demand of sight.  I long for my life to be epic...to have meaning...to have presence & purpose.  This is bigger than just "being a teacher".  It has to do with BEING who God has created me to be.  Processing the adventure.  Psalms 42.7 "Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me."

To be honest, I'm really glad that wasn't one of my Sunday School memory verses when I was little.  "God wants waves to sweep over me?"  It's a frightening thought when you can't swim.  And yet, it's what I want right now.  What a shift in thought.  The thing that caused me to fear as a child has become the thing that I actually enjoy in this moment in life.  Tonight I went for the first walk I'd been on in two months.  I chose to go walk by the Potomac River, because I really love the water.  Hearing the ripples of water crash ever so gently along the rocks put me in my happy place.  And for this simple enjoyment, I thanked Jesus.  It's all connected...God, water, waves, rocks, shores, depth, life.  And in some way it's stirring my heart...but again, I'm processing this part of my journey.  Not really sure what I'm sensing.  Not really sure what is about to happen.  But I do know that His waves and breakers are sweeping over me...and it is truly deep.  

Yes.  The initial topic was the shoreline, and the water is not deep at the shoreline.  But the waves call us out into the depths of the vast ocean (and I chuckle as the old song, Beyond the Sea, is playing on my Pandora station;).  So, again, I'm not completely sure how all of my thoughts and developments are connected, but they are.  I will journey along this shoreline for now.

Water and a Big Hole

Something similar to this is happening right now, outside my window...and it's been happening all day.  There's a gigantic hole in the street, due to what I'm pretty sure was a water main break overnight, last night.  Water here.  Water there.  Water everywhere.  

My New Church Family and One More Friend

This morning I made one more friend at church.  Someday soon I will be able to celebrate more than one at a time.  For now...I will celebrate anything that comes my way:).

This past week I had the opportunity to do something with a few hours that populated my week, other than hang out in my house by myself.  I joined a MetroGroup of ladies going through a book I will gain much from-Search for Significance.  That was Tuesday.  That night, my new friend from last week, Mary,invited me over to hang out on Wednesday!  Mary is very cool for so many reasons-mostly because she talked to me last week at church and invited me to her group.  

I'd also emailed the Office Administrator at my church, a cool girl named Julie, to see if there was any way that I could come in to help in the office since I'm not allowed to go to work with my back condition.  So Thursday and Friday I got to spend some hours in the office, getting to know 3 new friends that are from the Great Mitten State, and a couple more from Florida (I've made more friends from Florida in the last 2 months than ever before).  

My new pastor is a super cool guy (I'm sure that would be exactly what he'd hope a new person attending his church would say...ha!).  But it's true.  His heart for the area...the vision that has been in his heart for church planting in the DC Metro area...it's all very familiar (thanks, Brad, for being a part of inspiring my life these last several years) and it makes sense that I would be a part of this church at this time.  

As I once said in a post, a few years back, that I was sent to Detroit.  Now I am confident that I have been sent to D.C., and as much as I never wanted to leave Detroit, I already have the hunger to stay here. 

Tonight, after devouring 3/4 of Donald Miller's new book, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years:  What I Learned While Editing My Own Life" , I am inspired to become more intentional in seeing my story become an epic adventure, starting with this season-as strange as the season may be.  (Really...read that book.)

Seriously-I'm realizing that I am once again amongst really great people....and there are so many more to meet! :)  

Craving Community, Part 2

Indulge yourself in this conversation I had with myself as I walked into the movie theater that houses my new church this morning:

Okay, where to sit?  Spot up there.  Ooo, the steps will hurt the back a little, but that's a good spot.  Okay, I'll just sit down for a song or two.  Don't judge me, people, my back will start to really hurt if I stand up. Alright, Kim, people are worshiping God, and they're really not paying attention to you right now.  Good. (insert incredible time with Jesus...and now back to the battling thoughts)...Mix and mingle time.  I want to meet someone here-how about the chick next to me.  Um, she didn't seem interested in actually meeting me.  Nice....the people behind me seem nice.  Friendly.  And the people in front of me...friendly too.  The girl next to the girl next to me said, "Hi"...nice too.  That's weird-no one even asked my name.  I would never do that at a church that I called home!  I like to make people feel welcome...why didn't anyone ask my name?  Rude.  (in hindsight, no, I didn't ask anyone else's)  (insert a great message from the pastor...and then a response for anyone that wants to begin a relationship with Jesus) Ugh, my contact is so annoying me and bothering me!  I'll blink for second...Dude, the girl next to me just raised her hand!  (In the words of Homer Simpson) Doh!  God, please forgive me for being such an idiot.  Here she is, giving church a try...giving Jesus a chance to change her life...and here I am being my judgmental self, thinking SHE'S rude for not asking MY name.  I am so ashamed to be me sometimes.  As soon as we're done I want to talk to them!

That may not have been uber interesting to you, but it is unfortunately the reality of my selfish, judgmental state of mind.  Here I have been, craving community for the last couple of months, and dying to meet people, and how does my mind approach this?  Well, you can see how my mind has approached this.  I have repented for being myself this morning, and have been forgiven, but where does all this come from?  Just when you think that you have overcome those things that keep your relationships from growing, you snap a picture of what really goes through your head and BAM!  It was the proverbial cast-iron frying pan over my head this morning.  Remember, Kim, going to church may help you to build community for yourself, but your life is to be a servant to others.  I'm out of practice.  Now I have to be intentional.  While I was gloating over how friendly I'd been to visitors to my own church in the past, I didn't realize that I was sitting next to someone who needed Jesus.  Good, Kim.  Brilliant.  Way to serve like Jesus.  Way to be a leader.  

So after the service I asked the girls next to me where the Guest Reception thing was.  The girl next to me didn't know (because of course it was her first time there), but the other girl said it was upstairs.  I went upstairs, and before I got to the GR, she introduced herself and invited me to the small group she was going to this Tuesday.  She said that she just started going to the church last week, and this would be her first time at the group, so it would be nice to know someone there!  Yea, so even she had only been there once before!  And she was super nice, invited me to the small group and gave me her number...and I found out that she's a massage therapist!  (God is full of grace, isn't He?) 

Who knew that the girl I was judging at the beginning of our gathering was going to be the one to directly bring me into community with others?

Beating yourself up is never the answer, and I'm done now.  God, keep the lessons coming!  

Craving Community

In my decision to move here months ago, I knew that I would want to quickly find a church that I could call home.  Three days after I found such a church, I ended up having my hurt-back-syndrome and have been out of commission for last 5 weeks.  This left me in such a strange place-a place that I'd never been in before...a very frustrating place.  

You see, I am fully aware that we are created for relationships.  We are created for community.  But here I've been, not able to physically handle going to church, or most places (like work), to meet people!  I haven't been able to go a stranger's house to join their small group, or anything like that.  I've had great roommates to talk with every now and then, and wonderful far-away-friends who I've been able to chat with online, or talk with on the phone.  But, get this...I haven't "had coffee" with anyone in a REALLY LONG TIME.  I know, I know...this is crazy.  I haven't had dinner or lunch with anyone in my home (outside of my roommates), anyone else's home, or a restaurant.  I haven't been to a movie, or gone shopping, or gone for a walk, or...anything with anyone else in a REALLY LONG TIME.  

If you know me, you're sitting there thinking, "wow, that's so not Kim!".  I mean, even if I've been in busy seasons (like fall usually is) I've been able to do a walk, or coffee, or something with a couple of people.  So this has been my life!  And I've been, more than ever before in my entire life, CRAVING COMMUNITY.  I miss praying with friends, and having dinner with my neighbors (miss you Gocke's and Myers:), and small group every Thursday, and worship practice on Sunday morning, and meeting with the leadership team once a month, and watching shows with Jen/making brownies with Jen/napping on Sunday afternoons on the living room couch with a friend on the other couch...I miss all of these things and more.  And while the people that I have valued can never, ever be replaced, I have been dying for that type of community once again!

So, yes, this has been quite a strange transition for me, because if I were hurting and still in Michigan, all of those things would still be in my life.  But for some reason, and I think God's always in favor of helping us to develop other perspectives to have empathy for others, I am here to experience all of this.  

Let in my next post, allow me to share today's experience with you...it just deserves its own post:)

The BEST

My friend, Andrea, just Twittered this verse:  Ps. 32:8 "the Lord says, i will guide u in the BEST pathway for your life. I will advise you & watch over u."

Needed that today!...and yesterday, and tomorrow...

1 mph

1.  I am still alive

2.  Apparently I have changed my mind and would like to really start Twittering

3.  My back is getting much better (to anyone that doesn't know, I've been almost out of commission for 4 weeks now with 2 herniated discs).  I finally was able to start physical therapy last week, and I think it's helping.

4.  Still not back to work:(  And I found out (in an odd way) that I was no longer going to be teaching 4th grade reading(I completely agree with the decision, because the kids desperately need a consistent reading teacher.  With us being unsure of when I'll actually be able to go back, we don't know what I'll be doing exactly.  Maybe this is a blessing in disguise?  More on this another time.

5.  Dad is doing better with the knee surgery.  He's at home now, getting physical therapy there.

6.  I've developed some insomnia that is beginning to drive me crazy.  A few days ago I didn't fall asleep until around 6:15am.

7.  Both of my roommates are originally from Miami.  One of them is living out of Florida for the first time this year, and thinks that the temperature here is "bitter cold".  Yea, it barely gets "bitter cold" in Virginia...and really, not-so-much in September. (Sorry Vanessa:)

8.  My other roommate, Kristy, has mango and avocado trees in her dad's backyard down in Miami.  He regularly sends her picked fruit.  YUM!  I tore into a ginormous avocado today.  I will need to share a picture, just to cause you to salivate.  :0P

9.  (Back to my back for a second...)  I am now going to the YMCA, not to run as I would like, but to walk...1mph for 30 minutes a day.  It's quite a site!  One lady thought she was being encouraging when she basically told me to "keep at it" and "the exercise will get easier".  It certainly doesn't help that I don't look like I've exercised in about 2 years (which I have, just inconsistently), so onlookers think I'm just a poor schlubb who is finally doing something.  I want to design a t-shirt to wear that says, "Listen, don't judge me and my 1mph!  Before I got hurt I was doing a lot more than this...A LOT, actually!  And I was beginning to train for a 5K that I will not be attending to in a couple of weeks here.  So BACK OFF!  And stop looking at me like that."  Do you think that would look good in maybe a nice brown T, or perhaps navy, with white writing?  I could have a picture of my spine with two red, radiating discs down at the bottom, with arrows saying, "See this?  IT HURTS!"

10.  I need to get over the whole thing at the Y.  I think writing it out was theraputic.  Thanks for listening.

11.  The Sunday before "the back crisis" truly began, I visited a church that I think I'll stick with.  The pastor says many things that remind me of an old favorite, and strangely is even cornier than the former.  It's actually kind of amazing.  But I really connect with the vision of the church...it's actually very familiar.  www.dcmetrochurch.org  Check it out!  I can't wait to feel a bit more normal, physically-enough to really try to connect with people in a small group setting.  Maybe next week?

12.  One of my new favorite shows is a BBC show, based in Scotland.  It's called Monarch of the Glen, and is actually no longer on the air.  Kristy, the roommate with the avocados, absolutely loves this show and shared it with me during my first week of being almost completely bed-ridden.  Watched all 7 seasons in 1 week.  It's unlike any show that I've ever actually liked...drama, humor, culture (I never knew anything about Scotland, other than what I learned through Braveheart:)

13.  I wish I could visit my family...so close, yet so far away right now.

14.  I wish I could see some friends-other than my roommates, who have been amazing to me!!!

15.  Turned 30 a week and a half ago.  Had a great day...although it felt very strange to not spend it with my usual set of friends in Michigan.  Vanessa-roommate decorated my room with balloons and streamers while I was at the chiropractor, and bought me Q'doba for dinner (with a birthday brownie).  

16.  Truly learning more about patience right now...and that I have VERY little of it.  So many "why" questions run through my head on a fairly regular basis.  The root of them has at least changed from being full of pity, and they've become a bit more inquisitive.  Why did I move here again?  Why am I out of work?  Why did this happen NOW?  Why can't I fully recover more quickly?  Why did...the list goes on. I'll tell you what though, I have developed more compassion for people in various situations dealing with pain, back problems, healthcare/insurance, joblessness, financial issues, loneliness/isolation....

17.  Overall, I'm doing well.  Honestly, I am.  I have learned that things could be a lot worse.  They actually have potential to get a lot worse.  What can I do?  I need to trust Jesus, and that God will give me wisdom as I make decisions everyday.  Sure, it's 3:20am, and I don't feel tired enough to sleep...but I'm okay.  I really am.

18.  Taking the GRE on October 17.  As I study, I'm actually getting nervous about it.  Apparently I'm really not so great with analogies!...and some of the reading comprehension questions (what do I teach again?)

19.  Trying to get into George Washington University for their spring semester to start taking classes.  I'll be shooting for a Masters in Educational Leadership and Administration.  

20.  Allow me to leave you with one last thought.  Even in your most isolated moments, how can God use you to invest into others?  This has been a thought running through my head, and I'm not sure that I have the best answer to that.  Something needs to change though...and soon.  Chew on it.

And...good morning!  "His mercies are new every morning."

Just Do It

Check it out!  

http://www.ukphoto.biz/Harambee.html

Loving My New Home:)

Ah!  I have so, so many things that I'm loving about my new home, from my new roommates, to the house I'm living in, to the city of DC, and to the town of Alexandria.  This place is everything that I want!  I'm not really sure where to begin, so for the moment I will just share this place that I visited tonight with one of my roommates, Kristy.  http://www.stelmoscoffeepub.com/index.php   So far it's one of my favorite things, and if you actually check out the website, you can see why.  It's quaint, adorable, fun, creative, diverse in different ways...and it's a fun, neighborhood coffee shop!  Every Thursday night there's this little "big band" style group of guys that play, from 7-10pm.  They're stinkin' adorable!  And there's a bunch of older people that are there to hear them...Kristy and I were definitely the youngest ones there in that half of the shop.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it here!  Friends, come visit!  You'll love it too:)

Throw it Off

The "runner" that I am (insert chuckle), or at least the runner that I will be someday, wants to run a 5K this fall.  I've gotten my brothers and sisters-in-law to agree to do it with me.  So I've been trying to find a great location, between Philly and DC, on the right weekend.  My mom had made the comment that it would start getting cold, and we should do it early.  It makes sense, but I told her that runners do this all the time in chillier weather!  We aren't real runners quite yet, but we can try to dress like them!  I've known lots of runners and read a ton on running.  Runners wear layers.  

My friend, Suzanne, ran the Broad Street 10 Mile a couple of months back, and told me about this cool set up that they have.  You can start in the morning with many layers, and then as you need to take them off, you drop them on the ground, to be picked up later as clothes for the homeless.  I like that idea!  Of course in the end you may have to wear a shower curtain, because you're just down to one layer of clothing (a shower curtain-that's what Suzanne's mom brought to wrap around her at the end of the race), but you do what you need to do to stay warm at that point...

This morning I woke up at 4:44am.  To a handful of you, you understand the significance of that. 

 *Without going to much detail, a good friend of mine from Detroit, Alex, started waking up at 4:44am during a season of prayer and fasting in January.  He shared the "this-in-not-coincidental" story of repeatedly waking up at this time to pray for different people/situations/etc.  Then it has happened with a number of other people in our lives who have woken up at that exact time...so funny.  One friend, Leah, was lead to Ezekial 44:4, which would actually make sense. (She did this after looking up Ezekial 4:44, which doesn't exist:)  This whole waking up thing has happened to me a couple of times.  When it has happened, my realization of the presence of God has become so much more real to me.*

I'm a skeptic though.  I remember the first time it happened, I awakened with a desire to pray, but hadn't looked at the time.  I'd said to myself, "Hah!  I bet it's 4:44!"  Then I kept my eyes shut until I couldn't take it anymore, and it was 4:45.  Unreal.  That's what happened again this morning, only for some reason I was even more skeptical and almost fell back asleep...then I looked at the clock....4:48.  What do you do when you realize that God is waking you up?  Well, I mean, you get up of course...but what does that mean for you?  to you?  

In those 4 minutes, between the time that I woke up and the time that I looked at the clock, I had this urge to throw off the covers.  I wasn't too warm or anything, but I literally, with my legs, just threw off the covers.  And at 4:48, when I looked at the clock, so many thoughts flooded my head, and one of them was this.  It was a connection to me literally throwing off my covers, and for about 15 minutes I couldn't put the covers back on.

...let us throw off everything that hinders, and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, ² fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith...

What is it that I need to throw off?  What is hindering me?  I find it so inspiring that the author of Hebrews uses this metaphor of running a race, and throwing off the things that hinder us in running the race well.  Physically, spiritually, emotionally...there are things that I wear or carry that keep me from running my race well.  I could list several of them here!  God woke me up this morning to speak to me about this-really, to remind me of this-it was very humbling.  I'm so grateful that despite His BIGNESS, he spares a moment to wake me up and remind me that he is very aware of me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94ke3u2AzFE

Who Am I to be Brilliant?

Inspired by this thought today.

Who Am I To Be Brilliant? 

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world.  There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 
~ Marianne Williamson 

For a lot of us, we tend to feel inadequate, and rightfully so!  I mean...compared to an Almighty God, we are inadequate.  But there's this verse in the Bible that we often forget about...here, in verse 13.  Everything I need to do, I can do with Christ.  Because I was made in God's image, I myself, am not the brilliant one (insert chuckle), but God is brilliant through me.  Now, when I am acting/thinking/speaking not-so-brilliantly...well, that's the human side of me.  Pride hinders us in this very moment to think about how brilliant we actually can be at times, but again...it's what Christ does through us that is this thing called 'brilliant'.  Every good thing from God-whether you believe in Him or not.   :)

Today I want to, as she said, "manifest the glory of God that is within [me]".  Worship Him. Adore Him.  Thank Him.  Trust Him.  Think about Him.  Recognize Him.  Smile.